Remember when Shaq released rap albums? And remember when everyone understood that a basketball star with no musical talent recording an album was an idea so bad whoever thought of it should have shot himself on the spot? Well, looks like not everyone agreed after all. Recent NBA champ Ron Artest follows Shaqs lead with his new rap song. If anything, its even worse. Watch it below or, better yet, trick a hated co-worker into watching it.
Saying that Artests recent performance of Champion on Lopez Tonight is bad doesnt do justice to the true extent of its awfulness. He drops oxymoronic (emphasis on the moronic) lines like Clap your hands for the champion / Moment of silence for the champion. He forgets to remove his Bluetooth headset before he went onstage. His three hypemen display an utter lack of enthusiasm, perhaps because theyre busy considering alternative career options.
Depressingly, this isnt even Artests first foray into music. That came in 2006 with My World, an album featuring such oddly-titled songs as Workin the Pole (umm…). Then there was last year’s Michael Jackson tribute “Michael, Michael, You My Nigga.”
While those were bad, a television performance suggests a new level of mainstream enabling. Yes, I realize he won the championship, but does that give him carte blanche to follow his every whim? “Sure, Ron, of course you can punch my grandmother.” “Yeah, Ron, this bunny would definitely look better if you ripped off its ear and beat a baby with it.” “You’re right, Ron, a song where you rap questionable sporting metaphors really slowly is a terrific idea.”