The Top 10 Faces That Need to Curate a Music Festival


    Oh, music festivals. Those little bundles of joy that make up most of our summers. Not too long ago, they were once rare. You’d hope and pray Warped Tour would roll on through your town, you’d listen to the radio for special sponsored events, and you’d skateboard around town searching for gig posters. Now, given the popular market, you could see a festival anywhere. Not only that, but they’re announced so far in advance that your summers are usually built around it. Some might say it’s too packed.

    We won’t. Well, we understand there are plenty of festivals out there, but we’re always keen on finding out about new ones. It’s actually sort of intriguing how many pop up each year. Every state in the country’s in on the game. Florida, Oklahoma, Georgia, one of the Dakotas (can’t remember which one; maybe both), Maine, etc., etc. This list could go on for hours. Still, we’d love to see more.

    But, we don’t want to just see any festival. We like when they throw us a curveball…with spit on it. We want something fresh, something unique, and something that shatters expectations. One way in which this has been effective is how certain festivals have tagged curators. As of late, we’ve witnessed some strange folks behind festivals. Matt Groening, anyone? So, with the likes of Jeff Mangum and Portishead hosting some saucy festivities this year, it got us thinking: Who else would we want behind the proverbial festival wheel?


    So, we put together a list. You’ve probably heard of these folks. They’re pretty creative; in other words, we figured they’d offer something fresh, unique, and they’d not only shatter our expectations, they’d shatter your expectations. What are you waiting for? Take a gander. Not only did we issue a list of names, but we’ve also surmised what they could offer, too. It’s a little hopeful, it’s a little borderline fan fiction (okay, it is), but it was fun. Besides, maybe, just maybe, one of them will see this and that lil’ lightbulb will spark some.

    Sh’yeah, right.

    -Michael Roffman

    Feature artwork by Cap Blackard.

    David Lynch

    davidlynch The Top 10 Faces That Need to Curate a Music Festival

    Lynchville: Where the birds sing a pretty song and there’s always music in the air.

    There’s a kind of inevitability about the idea that one day soon David Lynch will get to curate his own music fest. Small towns have featured big in his films so Lynchville would be a natural name for it. The guy has the imagination and vision to conceive a host of shows simultaneously, so the event will be a multimedia one encompassing a raft of small gigs sitting comfortably alongside a big stage; a kind of mini SXSW with cinematic sideshows and all manner of life’s little curios. Several locations come to mind but Snoqualmie Falls, a key setting for Twin Peaks gets the call. Musical director Angelo Badlamenti could set up base at The Roadhouse and host late evening shows ending with Julee Cruise reprising “Rockin’ Back Inside My Heart” from the pivotal Episode 14. The Bookhouse Boys (UK band) might be the house band and in homage to the enigmatic character from Mulholland Drive, the Legendary Stardust Cowboy would get to play “Paralyzed”.


    The David Lynch Foundation already has a foot in several musical doors and recently announced a Pledge campaign bringing together big names and emerging artists. Many would be a shoe-in for Lynchville; expect Tom Waits, Peter Gabriel and Iggy Pop for starters. The big news would be a kind of Beatles reunion. Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr supported the DLF launch but it might take all of Lynch’s persuasive powers to persuade them that Liam and Noel Gallagher could settle their brotherly differences and take the Lennon and Harrison roles. Soon Brian Wilson and Mike Love would be rumoured to be making guest appearances. That’s until Liam decides the medley from Pet Sounds is a fooking stupid idea. At which point I can decamp to The Roadhouse and chill out with Lady Lamb The Beekeeper while deciding whether it will be Audrey or Donna on the back of the Harley.

    -Tony Hardy