There’s been no shortage of jaw-dropping headlines over the past few weeks: Dave Grohl and Trent Reznor are involved with Queens of the Stone Age, Paul McCartney almost died, INXS called it quits for the 17th time, and My Bloody Valentine’s Kevin Shields is crazy enough to think a new album will surface before 2013. At this rate, here’s what we can expect down the pipeline before the end of the world year comes to a close.
Green Day announce prequel trilogy
-Michael Roffman
Keith Richards drops out of Rolling Stones’ reunion tour, Johnny Depp offers to fill in
-Alex Young
M.C. Hammer “pretty pleased, all things considered” with his Spotify payouts
-Jeremy D. Larson
The Flaming Lips complete reworking of Hootie and the Blowfish’s Fairweather Johnson
-Michael Roffman
Taylor Swift pens album about her failed relationship with guy who was “Like an 87% match on OK Cupid.”
-Dan Pfleegor
Courtney Love is “actually working on a documentary about that bloodsucking tick Dave Grohl, who wishes he was Kurt and is seducing my daughter!”
-Alex Young
Chris Brown records duet album with Mark David Chapman
-Dan Caffrey
Buy Talking Heads’ actual clothes for $80
-Chris Coplan
Taylor Hawkins, Chris Shiflett, Pat Smear, and Nate Mendel also contributing to new Queens of the Stone Age album
-Jeremy D. Larson
MySpace “Tom” buys Pandora
-Alex Young
Paul McCartney fined for chopping down tree
-Michael Roffman
Jeff Mangum announces final sip of tea
-Drew Litowitz
The Rolling Stones cancel reunion tour, citing “creepy” Johnny Depp
-Alex Young
Morrissey turns down SXSW keynote because “Austin smells like gravy”
-Alex Young
Starbucks to release Valentine’s Day compilation on December 25th
-Ben Kaye
The Killers and Muse release new track, ”Vegas Isles 3001″
-Michael Roffman
Paul Westerberg injures hand gardening, cancels scheduled Replacements reunion at Coachella
-Dan Caffrey
Johnny Depp self-funds and stars in Keith Richards biopic
-Alex Young
Devendra Banhart signs multi-year endorsement deal with Hollister
-Dan Pfleegor
Johnny Depp hires Tim Burton to direct his Keith Richards biopic
-Alex Young
Jimmy Page disapproves of Robert Plant’s Primal Scream guest spot, secretly contributes maraca to The Stone Roses’ new LP
-Michael Roffman
Johnny Depp casts Helena Bonham Carter as Mick Jagger, predicts Academy Award-winning performance
-Alex Young
Sleigh Bells announce long-awaited holiday album. Ironically, it’s about Hanukkah.
-Dan Pfleegor
Nate Silver admits to designing that fake Coachella poster
-Chris Coplan
Big Boi announces deluxe reissue of Vicious Lies and Dangerous Rumors
-Michael Roffman
Johnny Depp’s Keith Richards biopic flops at the box office after receiving -4% on Rotten Tomatoes
-Alex Young
Guided by Voices announces new album: Quick, Pollard Isn’t Looking, Someone Please Help Us
-Michael Roffman
Johnny Depp announces bankruptcy, signs on for seventh Pirates of the Caribbean film
-Alex Young
