In 2011, Newscorp, the former owners of Myspace, sold most of the company’s stock to a company called Specific Media and the former Mickey Mouse Club member/*NSYNC leader/movie star/pop icon Justin Timberlake. If you head over to Myspace right now, that’s where you can find the official stream of his new single “Suit & Tie”, featuring Jay-Z.
All that’s required to stream the single is a membership renewal at Myspace in the year of our Lord two thousand and thirteen, find some sweet custom layouts, replace your old animated GIFs with new animated gifs, and maybe rethink putting Kelly Osbourne in your “Who I’d Like To Meet” section. But when you rejoin, the first order of business is without a doubt to sort out your Top Friends.
Now, JT has his own profile and everything, including his Top 8 (er, currently 7) friends. Let’s assume that JT is so (literally) invested in Myspace that his Top 8 friends will be featured on his forthcoming album The 20/20 Experience. Sure, JT is chummy with Kings of Leon and Ray LaMontagne, and who wouldn’t want to hear Justin Vernon and Justin Timberlake go into a falsetto-off (on a track no doubt titled “Just Justins”) but here’s who we’d really like to see in JT’s Top 8…
How can you not have Timbaland in your Top 8? Other than Missy Elliott, JT has got to be Timbaland’s main squeeze. The producer is already rumored to have done 20 tracks with JT, and since he produced the bulk of FuturSex/LoveSounds (not to mention “Suit & Tie”), JT kind of owes it to the producer to show him some love up there. Especially since the production on “Suit & Tie” might be the most interesting thing about it.
Kick out: Don’t need to! Just add him! Do it now!
Having Jay-Z guest on a Justin Timberlake track is like taking gold, combining it with diamonds, and melting it into a newer, more expensive jewel called Diamold . JT knows that he doesn’t really have to call in any favors for people to guest on his album, so might as well get the Best Rapper Alive to come and do a spot. Considering Hova has done just 10 guest spots in six years, I’d say JT owes him a spot on the profile.
Replace: Kings of Leon
As much as we’d wish to see JT hook up with some of the mid-range phenoms who are making big splashes right now — like TNGHT, Hit-Boy, SpaceGhostPurrp, No ID — chances are the pop star is going to lean pop and not, you know, lean lean. Pharrell still has the Midas touch, and track one on his first solo album Justified had Pharrell’s signature Neptunes english on it (and honestly so does “Suit and Tie”). For old times, JT.
Beyoncé is playing the Super Bowl halftime show with Destiny’s Child. Assuming that JT isn’t banned from the Super Bowl because of 2004’s Nipplegate, I have a certain amount of money riding on a cameo from JT during Bey’s show, and a cameo from Bey on The 20/20 Experience. Plus you don’t just put Jay-Z in your top 1o and leave out his wife. Come on, Timberlake.
Replace: Kings of Leon
In between FutureSex/LoveSounds and now, Timberlake became a movie star to help put some food on the table. His first breakout role was in Fincher’s The Social Network, playing Napster founder and skeezeball entrepreneur Sean Parker (full disclosure: I have a certain affinity for the sheer brilliance of whatever the fuck he was doing in Southland Tales). Fincher is no stranger to music videos, having directed iconic pop hits like “Express Yourself” and Don Henley’s “The End of Innocence” for which he won an MTV Music Video Award (I’m sure Fincher’s Moonman stands right next to his Golden Globe for The Social Network). So, the idea that Fincher is just a phone call away from Timberlake himself is pretty exciting.
Replace: Bon Iver
If he’s actually in 7th heaven with his wife, she should for real should be #1 on his friends list. Will she show up on the album? Maybe not — but she plays his muse in his real life, and served as the impetus for him writing music at their wedding, where he performed a brand new song (though, that was probably overshadowed by the video that their friends made which had homeless people congratulating the rich couple at their $6.5 million nuptial ceremony). And hey look — her pipes aren’t half bad. She could throw up a decent hook on 20/20.
The Lonely Island
The fact that Timberlake still makes stupid, hilarious videos with the same trapped-in-the-’90s, Color-Me-Badd, chin-strapped R&B lothario character from the “Dick In A Box” days just makes you love the guy even more. He was featured on The Lonely Island’s debut Turtleneck and Chain (another trademark fashion choice for them) and up until now, Saturday Night Live and The Lonely Island were the only outlets where you could hear new JT songs, so enlisting the comedy trio for a skit or a capella breakdown would seriously not be out the purview of Timberlake. Plus after “Motherlover” and “Golden Rule”, Andy Samberg and Timberlake have a special…bond.
Replace: Ray LaMontagne
If JT doesn’t premiere the whole album on Myspace — which you really need to understand that this is an actual possibility — his pal, the always-musical Jimmy Fallon may seem like a good place to debut some songs just like 2012’s R&B breakout Frank Ocean did last year on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Or, honestly, they could just do another installment in the History of Rap and that’d be cool too.
Replace: Frank Ocean