In its 40-plus-year career, KISS has secured a mind-boggling 2,500 merchandising licenses. Whether in the market for cologne, house keys, sock monkeys, or even a casket, fans are able to purchase one branded with the demonic rockers’ signature logo. Some bands might shy away from such dealings, but frontman Gene Simmons has happily accepted KISS’s rampant corporatization as one of the reasons for the collective’s continued success.
However, there is at least one sponsorship deal that didn’t work out: As the story goes, back in 2000, guitarist Paul Stanley recorded a jingle and filmed a commercial for Folgers Coffee. But when a “focus groups asked ‘Who is the old, creepy guy?”, the agency decided to shelve the project.
In what I’m chalking up as a bona fide Christmas miracle, the long-lost commercial was uploaded to YouTube this weekend (via Ultimate Classic Rock), and the whole thing is more hilarious than KISS condoms. Whether it’s Stanley sauntering around sans makeup, the weird accordion music, or the fact that he’s cheering on circus acrobats, I defy you not to giggle as he over-performs lines like “Limit is the sky/ Hey world, watch me fly.” And the random disappearing act at the end, like a damn rock ‘n’ roll Houdini? That’s just whip cream on the ol’ iced coffee that is this entire ad. Pour a cup of Joe and watch it below.
As KISSanity (via Rolling Stone) points out, Stanley addressed the ad during an October 2000 interview, explaining, “Life is strange! I got a call asking if I was interested in singing a Folgers commercial. And like many other things, I thought ‘Why not?’ I wasn’t at all concerned with who thinks it is OK or not OK, cool, not cool, rock ‘n’ roll or not. I had a blast doing it and like I said, isn’t that what this is all about?”
Meanwhile, acclaimed video director and Best Show host Tom Scharpling is claiming to be responsible for its creation.