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Strange Arcs: Sylvester Stallone

In short, the man’s had one long, bizarre career.

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    Strange Arcs is a feature in which our film staff explore the unlikely, unusual, and downright bizarre career arcs of some of our favorite film industry mainstays.

    Over the past 40-plus years, Sylvester Stallone’s ripped physique and earnest face have been plastered on movie screens around the world. Though he’s also a successful writer and director, acting is his real bread and butter, resulting in critically acclaimed performances in Rocky and Cop Land, iconic turns in Rambo and The Expendables, and whatever the hell Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot was. Sure, Stallone’s an internationally bankable action star, but he’s also tried his hand at comedy, drama, animated films, and musicals. In short, the man’s had one long, bizarre career. In honor of Rambo: First Blood Part II, which celebrates its 30th anniversary this week, I’ve decided to examine one of Sylvester Stallone’s strangest career arcs in a little more depth. So sit back, don your favorite sweaty bandana, and enjoy.

    Rhinestone

    rhinestone Strange Arcs: Sylvester Stallone

    Year: 1984
    Director: Bob Clark
    Co-stars: Dolly Parton, Richard Farnsworth, Ron Leibman

    Synopsis: In order to get out of a contract with her pervy manager (Ron Leibman), country chanteuse Jake (Dolly Parton) bets him that she can turn anyone into a huge Nashville star. That person winds up being a tough-talking cab driver, Nick (Sylvester Stallone). It’s kind of like She’s All That only balls-out awesome.

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    Why It’s a Departure: Prior to Rhinestone, Stallone focused all of his testosterone-fueled energy on action films such as Rocky, Nighthawks, and First Blood. Sure, he wrote and directed the garish dance flick Staying Alive the year before Rhinestone’s release, but he didn’t star in it. Still, maybe his devotion to that unnecessary Saturday Night Fever sequel should have tipped America off to the fact that Stallone had a secret song-and-dance man hidden deep beneath his sinew.

    In terms of acting, though, Rhinestone is Stallone’s first high-budget foray into comedy, as well as his first, and only, stab at musical comedy. It’s a total oddity in his oeuvre, and it deserves to be seen for the weirdness factor alone.

    Key Scene: With his first big solo number, the hilariously titled “Drinkenstein,” Sly proves that his brother Frank isn’t the only Stallone with musical chops. Actually, the song kind of stinks, but it’s got kitsch in spades. And the fact that Stallone sings it while dressed up like a common street pimp? Well, that’s just a cherry atop the sundae.

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