Tool haven’t released a new album in almost 10 years, but they *are* selling $200 blankets

The soft, fleece blankets are made of old t-shirts


    A new Tool album may not be in the cards for 2015, but the band’s come up with the next best thing to cure their fans’ anxious woes: quilted blankets made from old Tool t-shirts.

    Rather than revel in the sounds of new music, Tool’s loyal devotees can instead wrap themselves in one of three new multi-purpose blankets, each hand-sewn and made of soft fleece. They’ve waited nine years, what’s a couple more, ya know?

    (Read: The 25 Weirdest Pieces of Band Merchandise)

    A press release notes that the blankets, which come with a hefty $199 price tag, are only available in limited quantities and potential buyers oughtn’t dilly-dally. “Don’t go to the nearest courtesy phone, or wait for a healing thighbone…” it reads. “Don’t look for unreal blue butterfly eyes on a lark, or attempt to grasp the physics of an anti-quark.” (Also, apparently don’t wait for a new Tool record.)

    Find the specs below, followed by pictures of the cozy collectibles. Order your own here.

    – Individually cut-n-sewn in the USA
    – Dimensions 75″ X 75″
    – Topside 100% cotton shirts and contrast fabric
    – Bottomside Fleece
    – Polyester thread & polynylon corner folds
    – Reinforced double stitching





    Fans can double down on the Tool experience by purchasing a blanket and seeing the band live for their first performance of the year on Halloween. That’s almost just as good as a new Tool album, right? Right?