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The Top 100 South Park Songs

Twenty years of unforgettable musical moments from our favorite redneck mountain town

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    Music has always been an integral part of South Park: PrimusLes Claypool sang the theme song; Rick Rubin produced the Chef Aid record; and co-creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone have managed to rile up Kanye West and countless other musicians, actors, and celebrities with cool island songs to melt their icy hearts … or was it warm tropical songs … never mind.

    Since our favorite foulmouthed fourth graders are returning to Comedy Central for their 21st season this week, we dug deep into the South Park archives to handpick our definitive 100 songs in the show’s storied musical history. We’ve included music from South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, but not Chef Aid or Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics cuts that didn’t appear, at least in part, on screen.

    We also ruled out songs by other artists that merely soundtracked the boys’ adventures. Otherwise, we took a walk down memory lane, way back to the early seasons when the boys were still third graders and ended at Season 20, which, believe it or not, gave us a top 10 inclusion.

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    You know, we learned something today: Whether you only swear by the older episodes or you still avidly watch the new ones, there have been so many priceless musical moments in South Park’s history. Enjoy reliving some of these classic songs and scenes.


    100. “Stinky Britches”

    From “Chef Aid”

    This song appears in some form in five different episodes but was first heard in “Chef Aid,” when Alanis Morissette stole the song from Chef. You bastard! — Killian Young

    99. “Little Bunny Foo Foo”

    From “Something You Can Do with Your Finger”

    Butters’ audition song to join Fingerbang. They’ll let him know. — K.Y.

    98. “You and Cthulhu”

    From “Mysterion Rises”

    The Coon (aka Cartman) makes a new friend in the massive demon Cthulhu, who is naturally unleashed by BP’s unsafe, offshore drilling. Naturally. — K.Y.

    97. “Loving the Football”

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    From “Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride”

    If you follow Chef’s advice, you’ll never fumble again. You’ll also probably end up on a sex-offender list. — Matt Melis

    96. “Who’s Got the Greatest Mom in the World?”

    From “Tsst”

    Cartman can avoid punishment like Tom Sawyer could avoid work; here, he butters up Mrs. Cartman with a melodious little ditty that they’ve clearly sung countless times before. Nice harmonies. — M.M.

    95. “Hippitus Hoppitus”

    From “Fantastic Easter Special”

    The Hare Club for Men (brilliant) mash up the Latin Mass and “Here Comes Peter Cottontail” as they go to life-threatening lengths to preserve the long-eared secret of the Catholic Church’s origins. If only being a Catholic was actually like this. — M.M.

    94. “Imagination Song”

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    From “Imaginationland Episode 1”

    Matt or Trey clearly visited Disney’s Epcot Center as kids, suffered through that lame “Imagination” ride with the purple dragon, and decided to get back at the world by torturing us with their grating take on that attraction’s theme song … for three consecutive episodes. Imagination … ImagINation … IMAgin… A very grating gag. — M.M.

    93. “If You Leave Me Now”

    From “Casa Bonita”

    Do you think Chicago (the band) gets a few bucks each time Butters busts out his favorite adult contemporary rock hit of ’76? — M.M.

    92. “German Dance”

    From “Chef Aid”

    By our calculations, Cartman would have had to do the German Dance from this episode’s original air date nonstop through 2047 in order to raise the money needed to hire Johnnie Cochran and counter-sue the record company. And that’s not even taking into account sauerkraut expenses. Dance, German boy, dance! — M.M.

    91. “Crips and Bloods”

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    From “Krazy Kripples”

    Bill Cosby’s gonna sue somebody’s ass! — M.M.

    90. “Carry on Wayward Son”

    From “Guitar Queer-O”

    Randy learns the hard way that playing real guitar just isn’t as cool as being a master of Guitar Hero. — K.Y.

    89. “Dawg’s Crew Theme”

    From “Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy”

    When Cartman becomes the Hall Monitor of South Park Elementary, he is the dawg. The big, bad dawg. — K.Y.

    88. “Canada on Strike”

    From “Canada on Strike”

    The world economy grinds to a halt as our neighbors to the north declare they’re going on strike — with fully rehearsed choreography no less, buddy. — M.M.

    87. “Cheesy Poofs”

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    From “Roger Eberts Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods”

    How lame are you if you don’t love Cheesy Poofs? Apparently, we’re “talkin’ Night Court in its fifth season lame.” — M.M.

    86. “Jared’s Theme”

    From “Jared Has Aides”

    Too soon? — M.M.

    85. “Living in America”

    From “Let Go, Let Gov”

    I’ve yet to make it through a trip to the DMV without at least one person breaking out into James Brown. That’s why I always bring a cape. — M.M.

    84. “Hey People, You Gotta Drive Hybrids Already”

    From “Smug Alert!”

    We included this song on our list because we like to be part of the solution and not the problem. What … good for us? Thaaaanks! — M.M.

    83. “Why Can’t I Be Like All the Other Kids?”

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    From “Here Comes the Neighborhood”

    Basically, Token’s version of “A Lonely Jew Christmas on Christmas.” And that’s okay, because #TokensLifeMatters — M.M.

    82. “My Best Friends”

    From “Spookyfish”

    Ever notice that the goateed “Evil” Cartman is a lot nicer than “Good” Cartman? Stan, Kyle, and Kenny sure do. — M.M.

    81. “Buffalo Soldier”

    From “Medicinal Fried Chicken”

    It’s impossible to unsee Randy Marsh pushing his massive, cancerous testicles around in a wheelbarrow as he (poorly) sings this Bob Marley classic. — K.Y.

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    80. “Follow the Only Road”

    From “It’s Christmas in Canada”

    Apparently, all Polish jokes become Canadian jokes in the South Park universe. Still, “watch out for Scott. He’s a dick!” — M.M.

    79. “I’ve Got Some Apples”

    From “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset”

    Sing this while shopping for fruit or peeing at a urinal, and life will seem a little less tedious: “Loo Loo, I got some apples…” — M.M.

    78. “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset”

    From “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset”

    “Comes with video camera, night-vision filter, fake money, losable cell phone, and 16 hits of ecstasy! Let everyone see your coo-oo-ooch!” — K.Y.

    77. “The Twelve Days of Christmas”

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    From “Red Sleigh Down”

    Need a stall tactic to make it home in time for Christmas presents — or just a running gag? Either way, you could do far worse than have handicapable Jimmy Valmer sing the longest song in the Christmas carol ca-ca-ca ca-ca-ca ca-annon. — M.M.

    76. “Wild Wild West Rap”

    From “Cat Orgy”

    It’s safe to say that Jim “Cartman” West and Artemis Clyde Frog’s 3-Dubya rap may be the only redeeming pop-culture moment to come from Will Smith’s late ’90s foray into being a cowboy. #MildMildWest — M.M.

    75. “Got to Buy Chinpokomon”

    From “Chinpokomon”

    A portmanteau of the Japanese word for penis and Pokemon, “Chinpokomon” parodied the Japanese craze for its crass commercialism. “I’ve got to buy it! I’ve got to buy it!” — K.Y.

    74. “Shitty Shitty Fag Fag”

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    From “It Hits the Fan”

    When the residents of South Park become free to say the word “shit,” all hell breaks loose. Mr. Garrison sings this tune to his kindergarten students, contributing nine times that the cuss word is said out of a total of 162 times in the episode. — K.Y.

    73. “Pokerface”

    From “Whale Whores”

    Sometimes, an artist covers a song and just makes it his or her own. This is not one of those times. — M.M.

    72. “Heat of the Moment”

    From “Kenny Dies”

    Our senators and representatives could learn a thing or two about productivity by joining together for a rousing rendition of Asia’s “Heat of the Moment,” like the one led by Cartman and Congress in South Park. — K.Y.

    71. “Wake Up Wendy”

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    From “Chef Aid”

    Stan finds his inner Bernie Taupin, Elton John plays Stan’s song at Chef Aid to impress Wendy, and Johnny Cochran’s heart grows three sizes in the process. Chewbacca defense? — M.M.

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