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The Top 100 South Park Songs

Twenty years of unforgettable musical moments from our favorite redneck mountain town

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    Music has always been an integral part of South Park: PrimusLes Claypool sang the theme song; Rick Rubin produced the Chef Aid record; and co-creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone have managed to rile up Kanye West and countless other musicians, actors, and celebrities with cool island songs to melt their icy hearts … or was it warm tropical songs … never mind.

    Since our favorite foulmouthed fourth graders are returning to Comedy Central for their 21st season this week, we dug deep into the South Park archives to handpick our definitive 100 songs in the show’s storied musical history. We’ve included music from South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, but not Chef Aid or Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics cuts that didn’t appear, at least in part, on screen.

    We also ruled out songs by other artists that merely soundtracked the boys’ adventures. Otherwise, we took a walk down memory lane, way back to the early seasons when the boys were still third graders and ended at Season 20, which, believe it or not, gave us a top 10 inclusion.

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    You know, we learned something today: Whether you only swear by the older episodes or you still avidly watch the new ones, there have been so many priceless musical moments in South Park’s history. Enjoy reliving some of these classic songs and scenes.


    100. “Stinky Britches”

    From “Chef Aid”

    This song appears in some form in five different episodes but was first heard in “Chef Aid,” when Alanis Morissette stole the song from Chef. You bastard! — Killian Young

    99. “Little Bunny Foo Foo”

    From “Something You Can Do with Your Finger”

    Butters’ audition song to join Fingerbang. They’ll let him know. — K.Y.

    98. “You and Cthulhu”

    From “Mysterion Rises”

    The Coon (aka Cartman) makes a new friend in the massive demon Cthulhu, who is naturally unleashed by BP’s unsafe, offshore drilling. Naturally. — K.Y.

    97. “Loving the Football”

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    From “Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride”

    If you follow Chef’s advice, you’ll never fumble again. You’ll also probably end up on a sex-offender list. — Matt Melis

    96. “Who’s Got the Greatest Mom in the World?”

    From “Tsst”

    Cartman can avoid punishment like Tom Sawyer could avoid work; here, he butters up Mrs. Cartman with a melodious little ditty that they’ve clearly sung countless times before. Nice harmonies. — M.M.

    95. “Hippitus Hoppitus”

    From “Fantastic Easter Special”

    The Hare Club for Men (brilliant) mash up the Latin Mass and “Here Comes Peter Cottontail” as they go to life-threatening lengths to preserve the long-eared secret of the Catholic Church’s origins. If only being a Catholic was actually like this. — M.M.

    94. “Imagination Song”

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    From “Imaginationland Episode 1”

    Matt or Trey clearly visited Disney’s Epcot Center as kids, suffered through that lame “Imagination” ride with the purple dragon, and decided to get back at the world by torturing us with their grating take on that attraction’s theme song … for three consecutive episodes. Imagination … ImagINation … IMAgin… A very grating gag. — M.M.

    93. “If You Leave Me Now”

    From “Casa Bonita”

    Do you think Chicago (the band) gets a few bucks each time Butters busts out his favorite adult contemporary rock hit of ’76? — M.M.

    92. “German Dance”

    From “Chef Aid”

    By our calculations, Cartman would have had to do the German Dance from this episode’s original air date nonstop through 2047 in order to raise the money needed to hire Johnnie Cochran and counter-sue the record company. And that’s not even taking into account sauerkraut expenses. Dance, German boy, dance! — M.M.

    91. “Crips and Bloods”

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    From “Krazy Kripples”

    Bill Cosby’s gonna sue somebody’s ass! — M.M.

    90. “Carry on Wayward Son”

    From “Guitar Queer-O”

    Randy learns the hard way that playing real guitar just isn’t as cool as being a master of Guitar Hero. — K.Y.

    89. “Dawg’s Crew Theme”

    From “Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy”

    When Cartman becomes the Hall Monitor of South Park Elementary, he is the dawg. The big, bad dawg. — K.Y.

    88. “Canada on Strike”

    From “Canada on Strike”

    The world economy grinds to a halt as our neighbors to the north declare they’re going on strike — with fully rehearsed choreography no less, buddy. — M.M.

    87. “Cheesy Poofs”

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    From “Roger Eberts Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods”

    How lame are you if you don’t love Cheesy Poofs? Apparently, we’re “talkin’ Night Court in its fifth season lame.” — M.M.

    86. “Jared’s Theme”

    From “Jared Has Aides”

    Too soon? — M.M.

    85. “Living in America”

    From “Let Go, Let Gov”

    I’ve yet to make it through a trip to the DMV without at least one person breaking out into James Brown. That’s why I always bring a cape. — M.M.

    84. “Hey People, You Gotta Drive Hybrids Already”

    From “Smug Alert!”

    We included this song on our list because we like to be part of the solution and not the problem. What … good for us? Thaaaanks! — M.M.

    83. “Why Can’t I Be Like All the Other Kids?”

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    From “Here Comes the Neighborhood”

    Basically, Token’s version of “A Lonely Jew Christmas on Christmas.” And that’s okay, because #TokensLifeMatters — M.M.

    82. “My Best Friends”

    From “Spookyfish”

    Ever notice that the goateed “Evil” Cartman is a lot nicer than “Good” Cartman? Stan, Kyle, and Kenny sure do. — M.M.

    81. “Buffalo Soldier”

    From “Medicinal Fried Chicken”

    It’s impossible to unsee Randy Marsh pushing his massive, cancerous testicles around in a wheelbarrow as he (poorly) sings this Bob Marley classic. — K.Y.

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    80. “Follow the Only Road”

    From “It’s Christmas in Canada”

    Apparently, all Polish jokes become Canadian jokes in the South Park universe. Still, “watch out for Scott. He’s a dick!” — M.M.

    79. “I’ve Got Some Apples”

    From “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset”

    Sing this while shopping for fruit or peeing at a urinal, and life will seem a little less tedious: “Loo Loo, I got some apples…” — M.M.

    78. “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset”

    From “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset”

    “Comes with video camera, night-vision filter, fake money, losable cell phone, and 16 hits of ecstasy! Let everyone see your coo-oo-ooch!” — K.Y.

    77. “The Twelve Days of Christmas”

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    From “Red Sleigh Down”

    Need a stall tactic to make it home in time for Christmas presents — or just a running gag? Either way, you could do far worse than have handicapable Jimmy Valmer sing the longest song in the Christmas carol ca-ca-ca ca-ca-ca ca-annon. — M.M.

    76. “Wild Wild West Rap”

    From “Cat Orgy”

    It’s safe to say that Jim “Cartman” West and Artemis Clyde Frog’s 3-Dubya rap may be the only redeeming pop-culture moment to come from Will Smith’s late ’90s foray into being a cowboy. #MildMildWest — M.M.

    75. “Got to Buy Chinpokomon”

    From “Chinpokomon”

    A portmanteau of the Japanese word for penis and Pokemon, “Chinpokomon” parodied the Japanese craze for its crass commercialism. “I’ve got to buy it! I’ve got to buy it!” — K.Y.

    74. “Shitty Shitty Fag Fag”

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    From “It Hits the Fan”

    When the residents of South Park become free to say the word “shit,” all hell breaks loose. Mr. Garrison sings this tune to his kindergarten students, contributing nine times that the cuss word is said out of a total of 162 times in the episode. — K.Y.

    73. “Pokerface”

    From “Whale Whores”

    Sometimes, an artist covers a song and just makes it his or her own. This is not one of those times. — M.M.

    72. “Heat of the Moment”

    From “Kenny Dies”

    Our senators and representatives could learn a thing or two about productivity by joining together for a rousing rendition of Asia’s “Heat of the Moment,” like the one led by Cartman and Congress in South Park. — K.Y.

    71. “Wake Up Wendy”

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    From “Chef Aid”

    Stan finds his inner Bernie Taupin, Elton John plays Stan’s song at Chef Aid to impress Wendy, and Johnny Cochran’s heart grows three sizes in the process. Chewbacca defense? — M.M.

    70. “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”

    From “Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics”

    Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo reminds us of the true meaning of Christmas: having enough fiber in your diet. — M.M.

    69. “Work Mexican Work”

    From “The Last of the Meheecans”

    Mantequilla (literally Spanish for “butter”) learns the toil of Mexican laborers. — K.Y.

    68. “The Yelper Special”

    From “You’re Not Yelping”

    Would it really kill you to show the restaurant employees in your lives a little decency? — M.M.

    67. “Carol of the Bells”

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    From “Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics”

    Ever see Beaker, the Swedish Chef, and Animal sing this holiday carol? Same concept, mmm’kay. — M.M.

    66. “The Circle of Poo”

    From “A Very Crappy Christmas”

    Mr. Hankey teaches his “nugget” son Cornwallis (his vocals are sung by R&B artist Louis Price) that “crap is everything” in this fantastic take on the Lion King classic “The Circle of Life.” — K.Y.

    65. “Work Slut”

    From “The Hobbit”

    It’s a Britney (parody), bitch. The girls of South Park work out to perfect their Photoshop skills. — K.Y.

    64. “I Swear”

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    From “Cartman Finds Love”

    You’ll never guess who ends up on the Kiss-Cam together at the basketball game. — M.M.

    63. “Bleeding Heart Protest Song vs. Pro War Country Song”

    From “I’m a Little Bit Country”

    It’s a battle of liberal and conservative views on the War in Iraq between Randy and Skeeter. — K.Y.

    62. “It’s Butters”

    From “Butters’ Very Own Episode”

    We’re glad that Butters — the most innocent and gullible boy in South Park — got his very own theme song for his show wrought with terrible family drama. “That’s me!” — K.Y.

    61. “Sexual Harassment Panda”

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    From “Sexual Harassment Panda”

    “When one little panda puts his furry, little willy in another little panda’s ear, that makes me a very sad panda.” And there’s nothing sadder than a sad panda, boys and girls. — M.M.

    60. “Lake Tardicaca Hula Girl”

    From “Crippled Summer”

    Okay, first, let’s all agree we’re going to hell just for listening. That being said, yeah, we want the ukulele solo! — M.M.

    59. “Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel”

    From “Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo”

    Cartman naturally butts into Kyle’s rendition of this Hanukkah song to make fun of him for being Jewish. — K.Y.

    58. “Joseph Smith Was Called a Prophet”

    From “All About Mormons”

    Before The Book of Mormon, there was “All About Mormons,” South Park’s brilliant parody of Mormonism, which actually correctly depicts the major concepts behind the infamous religion. Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb. — K.Y.

    57. “My Robot Friend”

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    From “AWESOM-O”

    Cartman — disguised as the robot A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000 to find out Butters’ embarrassing secrets — finds the tables turned on him when he learns that Butters has an incriminating video of him. — K.Y.

    56. “PC Chant”

    From “Stunning and Brave”

    Is there any good reason social justice warriors haven’t officially adopted this chant yet? If not, I call woo-woo on them. — M.M.

    55. “Out of My Shell”

    From “Broadway Bro Down”

    Larry “The Vegan” Feegan might need a larger shirt and smaller life preserver, but you can’t deny his song for Shelly is incredibly sweet. And shout-out to the non-animated person at the end of the video for posting this. — M.M.

    54. “Ballad of James Cameron”

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    From “Raising the Bar”

    “You guys hearing the song OK up there?” — K.Y.

    53. “Christmas Medley”

    From “Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics”

    Jesus and Santa sing Christmas classics about themselves, with composer Marc Shaiman (he did the music for the film version of Hairspray) on the piano. — K.Y.

    52. “Fight-in’ Round the World!”

    From “The New Terrance and Phillip Trailer”

    Making movies, making music, and fight-in’ round the world! — M.M.

    51. “A Chorus of Wieners”

    From “A Song of Ass and Fire”

    South Park took a shot at George R.R. Martin’s graphic descriptions of penises in Game of Thrones; Martin hilariously responded, “I have to deny this as a scurrilous rumor. I have nothing against weenies, weenies are fine, but I am not obsessed with weenies. I am definitely on the boobies side of the equation.” — K.Y.

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    50. “You Gotta Do What You Wanna Do!”

    From “Elementary School Musical”

    Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny simultaneously succumb to and end the High School Musical trend at South Park Elementary School. — M.M.

    49. “I Was Not the Bullet”

    From “World War Zimmerman”

    Set to Butters’ furious beatboxing, Cartman somehow manages to blame Token for his struggles after Trayvon Martin’s death. — K.Y.

    I’m not sure what’s shittier, Cartman’s flow or the quality of the only video of the song we could find on YouTube. — M.M.

    48. “Waitin’ on a Woman”

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    From “Cartman’s Mom Is a Dirty Slut”

    And you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait… — M.M.

    47. “I Hate You Guys”

    From “Jakovasaurs”

    A rousing campfire song never goes out of style. — M.M.

    46. “Mountain Town” & “Mountain Town (Reprise)”

    From South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

    A primer to South Park’s main cast and world, the opening song of Bigger, Longer & Uncut also gave fans their first look at Kenny without his signature orange parka. — K.Y.

    45. “Somalian Pirates We”

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    From “Fatbeard”

    “We’ll brave the squalls and bust your balls, Somalian Pirates we.” It puts that yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum song to shame. — M.M.

    44. “Jackin’ It in San Diego”

    From “Butterballs”

    Just like Jason Russell (the director of Kony 2012), Stan ends up naked and jackin’ it in San Diego after his anti-bullying video fails to have any lasting social impact. — K.Y.

    43. “Taco Flavored Kisses” / “Taco Flavored Kisses for Ben”

    From “Fat Butt and Pancake Head”

    The “other” J.Lo scores a big hit with this culturally sensitive pop gem and simultaneously woos Ben Affleck. “Haha. That’s me!” — M.M.

    42. “The Ballad of Tweek and Craig”

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    From “Tweek x Craig”

    Sometimes life gets complicated and we lose sight of what truly matters. At times like that, it’s valuable to look back upon the burning love of Tweek and Craig, who were deemed gay by the Japanese … because being gay isn’t a choice. — M.M.

    41. “Getting Gay with Kids”

    From “Rainforest Shmainforest”

    The kids travel to South America to spread awareness about endangered rain forests, and Kyle copes with the fact that Jews apparently have no rhythm. — M.M.

    40. “I’ve Got Something in My Front Pocket”

    From “You Got F’d in the A”

    Butters tap dances his way into our hearts with this old-timey number that urges us to reach into his pocket and find a surprise. That’s not wrong at all. — M.M.

    39. “The Prostitute Song”

    From “Fat Camp”

    I always wondered what Chef and James Taylor would’ve taught us if they were given a second verse… — M.M.

    38. “Up There”

    From South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

    Proof that even Satan gets the blues — and can hit a high note. Take that, Richard Stamos. — M.M.

    37. “Trapped in the Closet”

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    From “Trapped in the Closet”

    After becoming entangled in Scientology, Stan finds that Tom Cruise has locked himself in his closet and won’t come out. R. Kelly suddenly appears on the scene and tries to mediate the situation by singing and “PULLING OUT MY GUN.” — K.Y.

    36. “The Ballad of Lemmiwinks”

    From “The Death of Camp Tolerance”

    A journey just as epic as Bilbo Baggins’ in the 1977 animated version of The Hobbit (which the song draws inspiration from), the embattled class gerbil Lemmiwinks must escape Mr. Slave’s digestive system. He’s aided along the way by the Frog King, Sparrow Prince, and Catatafish. — K.Y.

    35. “I’m Gonna Make Love to You Woman”

    From “Cartman Gets an Anal Probe”

    …And bring you Salisbury steak and buttered noodles in bed the next morning. Oh, Chef. — M.M.

    34. “Push (Feeling Good on a Wednesday)”

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    From “The Cissy”

    All middle-aged men reach a point where they recognize their mortality, take stock in their lives, and, usually after an embarrassing “crisis,” learn to accept themselves and look ahead to the next phase in life. However, most of those middle-aged men aren’t Lorde, ya, ya, ya. — M.M.

    33. “Where Has My Country Gone?”

    From “Where My Country Gone”

    Leave it to Mr. Garrison to write the official theme song for the white supremacist movement. — M.M.

    32. “Princess Kenny Theme”

    From “A Song of Ass and Fire”

    Just when you thought South Park couldn’t possibly find a new way to shock us, we learn that Kenny is actually a Japanese princess. Eh, actually, I kinda saw this one coming. — M.M.

    31. “Fishsticks”

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    From “Gay Fish”

    As recently as at his headlining performance at Made in America, Kanye West has called out South Park for making fun of him. Of course, South Park famously joked that ‘Ye would be the only person in America to fail to get Jimmy’s joke (“Do you like putting fish sticks in your mouth? What are you, a gay fish?”). Kanye responded on “Gorgeous” (off My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy): “Choke a South Park writer with a fish stick.” — K.Y.

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