This feature originally ran in February 2016 and has been re-published today as Isle of Dogs hits theaters.
“It is an extremely common mistake. People think the writer’s imagination is always at work, that he’s constantly inventing an endless supply of incidents and episodes — that he simply dreams up his stories out of thin air. In point of fact, the opposite is true. Once the public knows you’re a writer, they bring the characters and events to you. And as long as you maintain your ability to look, and to carefully listen, these stories will continue to … Stop it! Stop it! Don’t! Don’t do it!”
–The author as an old man shot with pellets by his grandson, The Grand Budapest Hotel.
The world of Wes Anderson is a perfectly designed park that audiences have been so lucky to play in. Brimming with nostalgia, resolute framing, addled adolescence, troubled adulthood, and of course, sensationally drawn characters, Anderson builds terrific dramas and comedy of the surreally humane.
Today, in celebration of the release of Anderson’s latest film, Isle of Dogs, Consequence of Sound seeks to rank those characters — for their qualities, idiosyncrasies, and all around memorability. From Sam and Suzy to Ari and Uzi. Why there’s even room for Mr. Fox and Cody the three-legged dog.
But why? Because we can. Because Max Fischer would.
–Blake Goble
Senior Staff Writer
p.s. Let us know where your favorite Isle of Dogs characters should slot into our list in the future…
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161. Fire Chief
Martin Ballard, Fantastic Mr. Fox
Like the pilot, the fire chief just does what he’s asked with little emotion on his face. We’d like him more if he actually enjoyed flushing animals out of their burrows, but instead, he’s an empty shell of a man. –Dan Caffrey
160. Pilot
Rob Hersov, Fantastic Mr. Fox
The pilot for Franklin Bean is nothing more than a mustachioed stooge, eager to do anything for his mean-ass boss, no matter how horrible. It’s not the actions that make him bad, but his refusal to ask why he’s doing them in the first place. –Dan Caffrey
159. Grande Dame
Lisa Kreuzer, The Grand Budapest Hotel
This is a deep cut Anderson character right here. Gotta look around the edges of the framing. Cultish German actress Lisa Kreuzer as the Grande Dame was one of Gustave H.’s many bedfellows. –Blake Goble
158. Carmen
Anna Cifuentes, Bottle Rocket
No, she doesn’t know where Inez is at this moment. Or where else she belongs in this film. –Michael Roffman
157. Serge’s Sister
Giselda Volodi, The Grand Budapest Hotel
Five lines: “Yes, sir?” “Yes, sir.” “No, sir.” “No, sir.” “Yes, sir.” Then she gets beheaded. –Allison Shoemaker
156. Anita
Melinda Renna, Bottle Rocket
Who could hang up on Anthony? She could. Anita doesn’t get much screen time, but she has one icy resolve. –Michael Roffman
155. Rabbit Girl and Boy
Molly Copper, Fantastic Mr. Fox
Rabbit Girl and Boy’s cuteness gets undercut by their crazed red eyes — unsettling in the worst way possible. –Dan Caffrey
154. Rob
Stephan Dignan, Bottle Rocket
Rob, aren’t you supposed to be in literature? –Randall Colburn
153. Dr. Badger
Jennifer Furches, Fantastic Mr. Fox
Dr. Badger gets brownie points from us because she’s a pediatrician, and thus the resident healer in Fantastic Mr. Fox. She also looks exactly like her husband Clive Badger, which means he disappears all too easily in Bill Murray’s shadow. –Dan Caffrey
152. Antonia Cook
Isabella Blow, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
Antonia only shows up in brief to congratulate Zissou on his success, and what a success it was. Seriously. (We wish it didn’t require the “seriously,” but hey.) –Dominick Suzanne-Mayer
151. Mr. Beaver
Steven M. Rales, Fantastic Mr. Fox
For most of the film, the bucktoothed rodent stands there like a goon in his three-piece suit, never uttering a word or offering to help. Only when he goes on a reconnaissance mission after the animals are holed up underground does he begin to distinguish himself. –Dan Caffrey
150. Doug, Explosives Man
Tristan Oliver, Fantastic Mr. Fox
It’s great that one of the film’s biggest catastrophes comes from an explosives expert who’s simply named Doug. “Contact!” –Michael Roffman
149. Antonio Monda
Antonio Monda, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
As much as it’s a hoot to see the real-life professor/director/essayist/cultural giant interview Steve Zissou in The Life Aquatic, most of the good stuff ended up on the cutting-room floor. –Dan Caffrey
148. Izod
L.J. Foley, Moonrise Kingdom
Izod is the kinda guy who will absolutely run off to get more gunpowder when so ordered. What? It’s not like they can all be memorable. –Allison Shoemaker
147. Herr Mendl
Rainer Reiners, The Grand Budapest
While he may have been a talented patisserie man … actually, Agatha did the work. Okay, while he might have had great craftsmanship and packaging design … well, again, that craft seemed like Agatha, and the design would have likely been outsourced. Yeah, alright, Herr Mendl was likely a touchy, credit-hogging, oddball loner wasn’t he? –Blake Goble
146. Doctor
Dipak Pallana, The Royal Tenenbaums
There’s not much to say about Dipak Pallana’s Doctor, though this won’t be the actor’s last appearance on this list. He’s also, interestingly enough, the son of Kumar Pallana, who we’ll meet later on. –Randall Colburn
145. Rabbit’s Ex-Girlfriend
Allison Abbate, Fantastic Mr. Fox
One of the many ancillary animals in The Fantastic Mr. Fox, she enjoys the title character’s newspaper column, but can’t be bothered to get a subscription because she’s too cheap. A boring, stingy accountant. No wonder she’s Mr. Rabbit’s “ex” girlfriend! –Dan Caffrey
144. Lieutenant
Neal Huff, The Grand Budapest Hotel
Anderson takes a lot of care with his films. Often even if a character’s known only by a title or description, they’re dynamic and feel real. This is not one of those cases. –Allison Shoemaker
143. Dr. Nichols
Ned Dowd, Bottle Rocket
Um, seems like a nice enough guy. He lets Anthony crawl out of his window with a rope of tied bedsheets and doesn’t call security, so that’s pretty cool. –Randall Colburn
142. Mr. Mosher
Larry Pine, The Grand Budapest
Mosher’s not particularly interesting. But hey, he hired Zero! That’s cool! –Allison Shoemaker
141. Panagle
Andreas Sheikh, Moonrise Kingdom
Ever get the sense that Anderson likes to occupy an image with lots of people and takes joy in devising names then casting a person to fill a busy character shot? Panagle seemed like one of those inventions. –Blake Goble
140. Bookstore Manager
Darryl Cox, Bottle Rocket
“Don’t call me an idiot, you punk!” Few people, if any, could shut down Dignan. Could you imagine what a hard ass this guy is on any given day? Odds are his stockboys hate him. –Michael Roffman
139. Anatole
Daniel Steiner, The Grand Budapest Hotel
While he doesn’t do a whole lot, Anatole’s got two things going for him: he looks perfect in this movie, all skinny and wobbly and stuff, and he’s in every damn trailer (“The police are here”). That’s about it. –Allison Shoemaker
138. Rowboat
Tak Kubota, Bottle Rocket
Rowboat has a history with James Caan’s Abe Henry. What that history is we don’t exactly know. But you can’t argue with a nickname like Rowboat. –Michael Roffman
137. Alice Whitman
Camila Rutherford, The Darjeeling Limited
All that’s clear about Alice Whitman from her brief scenes in The Darjeeling Limited is that she and Adrian Brody’s Peter aren’t doing too hot in the love department. Not a surprise, I suppose, this being a Wes Anderson film and all. –Randall Colburn
136. Bean’s Son
Garth Jennings, Fantastic Mr. Fox
Ha, what a little twerp. All covered in gunk. Bean’s son probably got bad grades and was a wormy, entitled butthead, too. Call it a hunch. But nice comic relief. –Blake Goble
135. Renzo Pietro
Pawel Wdowczak, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
You know what’s pretty cool about Pietro, an otherwise forgettable character in a movie chock-full of memorable ones? He does sound for Zissou’s film, and he’s portrayed by the guy who was the movie’s actual sound designer. Cool, now let’s shag ass. –Justin Gerber
134. Bernice
Haley Miller, Bottle Rocket
Bernice may believe that Anthony is a jet pilot, but she sure knows when to leave a conversation. –Zack Ruskin
133. Agnes
Juman Malouf, Fantastic Mr. Fox
Agnes had nice spots. It was a tad peculiar that she got to hang with the Fox family in the end, but what do we know about foxes and their animal behavior? –Allison Shoemaker
132. Bobby Ogata
Niels Koizumi, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
Of all the Team Zissou descriptions, “Frog Man” may be the strangest. But Ogata’s a good hand. Now put out those deck fires before we sink. –Dominick Suzanne-Mayer
131. Roosevelt
Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick, Moonrise Kingdom
“Roosevelt, how’s that lanyard coming?” “Horrible.” No joke — Roosevelt is very, very bad at lanyards. –Allison Shoemaker
130. Mr. Herbert Billingsley
Larry Pine, Moonrise Kingdom
We don’t spend long with Mr. Herbert Billingsley, but his phone call, in which he says he can no longer foster Sam, is a memorably heartbreaking moment. –Zack Ruskin
129. Nico, Intern #1
Matthew Gray Gubler, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
Nico was the finest, bestest intern. The one that stayed. Nico deserves any and all extra credit. –Blake Goble
128. Gadge
Chadler Frantz, Moonrise Kingdom
We don’t know much about Gadge, but since he works as Scout Master Ward’s note-taker and is the first person to notice that Snoopy’s gone, we can assume he’s detail-oriented. –Allison Shoemaker
127. Mrs. Bean
Helen McCrory, Fantastic Mr. Fox
A fantastic actress in her own right, the best part about McCrory’s character is the food she prepares. Stare into the “Famous Nutmeg Ginger Apple Snaps” and despair! –Justin Gerber
126. Prisoner Günther
Volker Michalowski, The Grand Budapest Hotel
Günther. Didn’t do much. Didn’t say much. But, he played an instrumental role in the escape of Gustave H. from prison in Grand Budapest Hotel, and that’s worth at least a mild commendation. Or maybe even a bigger piece of a Mendl’s treat. –Blake Goble
