This article has a story…
And the story is about how two teenage nimrod slackers with absolutely zero ambition came to sit on their couch and let their brains rot to music videos from Dolly Parton to Pantera for so long that they became a generation’s foremost experts on the art form. Twenty-five years later, pop culture and tastes continue to evolve, but, if we’re honest, many of us can admit we graduated from the Beavis and Butt-head school of music criticism and still cling to one age-old truism: within the first five seconds of a music video, we know if it “sucks” or “kicks ass.”
In honor of 25 years of Mike Judge’s Beavis and Butt-head, here are 10 videos that absolutely don’t suck nads and “speak less to the heart and more to the sphincter.” Uh, huh-huh. I said, “nads.”
10. Radiohead – “Fake Plastic Trees”
Beavis: Ahhhhhhhh, yeah. I like to mellow out to this song.
Butt-head: Yeah. Let’s get a little mellow.
Beavis: Sometimes if I have a boner that won’t go down, I listen to this kind of music.
09. Foo Fighters – “I’ll Stick Around”
Butt-head: Hey, that’s that dude from Nirvarna.
Beavis: Um … um, Butt-head, I don’t think that dude’s with us anymore. You shouldn’t say that.
Butt-head: I’m talking about the drummer, dumbass!
Beavis: Um, I’ve never seen that drummer before in my life! That’s not him.
Butt-head: No, buttmuch! I’m talking about the drummer from Nirvarna is playing guitar here.
Beavis: Oh yeah! Oh yeah, you’re right.
08. Beastie Boys – “Sabotage”
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, here it is!
Butt-head: It’s about time!
Beavis: It’s on, Butt-head, it’s on!
Butt-head: Okay, Beavis, now shut up!
Beavis: Okay. I’m just gonna shut my mouth and watch. [hums the main riff]
07. Soundgarden – “Rusty Cage”
Butt-head: These guys are cool.
Beavis: Hey, Butt-head. Check this out. I can sing just like this guy: I’m gonna break myyy … I’m gonna break my rusty cage…
Butt-head: Settle down, Beavis. You’re gonna soil your drawers.
06. White Zombie – “Welcome to Planet M.F.”
Beavis: I saw these guys. I went to this concert, and I kicked butt down in the pit.
Butt-head: No, you didn’t, liar. You stood outside and tried to sneak in. Then you got your ass kicked by that big, giant bouncer when you tried to sneak backstage.
05. Alice in Chains – “Man in the Box”
Butt-head: Whoa, his eyes are sewn shut.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah! He must have seen something so horrible, like, his eyeballs melted.
Butt-head: Maybe he saw that Winger video.
04. Metallica – “One”
Butt-head: Lars is cool.
Beavis: Isn’t he that dude on The Addams Family?
Butt-head: You’re thinking of Lurch, dumbass! Lars could kick Lurch’s butt.
Beavis: Yeah. He could kick Cousin Itt’s butt, too.
Butt-head: Does Cousin Itt have a butt?
Beavis: Yeah. [jabbers like Cousin Itt]
Butt-head: [imitating Lurch] Uhhh, you rang, Mrs. Addams, uhhh?
Beavis: Heh heh, that was pretty funny, Butt-head.
03. AC/DC – “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”
Butt-head: Dirty deeds are cool. Hey, Beavis. Have you ever done a dirty deed?
Beavis: Yeah. I spanked my monkey one time.
02. Motörhead – “No Voices in the Sky”
Butt-head: You know who Lemmy looks like? He looks like that dude down the street that’s always working on his car.
Beavis: The guy who parks his car on the front lawn?
Butt-head: Yeah, that guy’s cool.
01. Ramones – “I Wanna Be Sedated”
Beavis and Butt-head: