At the stroke of midnight, Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion double-teamed “WAP”, one of the horniest major-label releases of the year. Not long afterwards, Republican congressional candidate James P. Bradley tweeted that he “accidentally” came across the song, and the experience left him extremely hot and bothered.
“Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion are what happens when children are raised without God,” is how he began, although his concerns about religious prayer may be misplaced, considering how much of the video the women spend on their knees. He went on to complain that the song, “made me want to pour holy water in my ears.” As the tweet progressed, and as he moved on to feeling “sorry for future girls if this is their role model,” his little period grew to an exclamation point. He wrote,
“Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion are what happens when children are raised without God and without a strong father figure. Their new “song” The #WAP (which i heard accidentally) made me want to pour holy water in my ears and I feel sorry for future girls if this is their role model!”
We’d tell Mr. Bradley to get a hold of himself, but it, uh, sounds like he already has. He’s in good company, though; as of this writing, the music video for “WAP” has been “accidentally” watched over 16 million times.
Bradley is seeking to represent California’s 33rd congressional district, which Democrat Ted Lieu won by 19 points in 2014, 32 points in 2016, and 40 points in 2018. So Mr. Bradley may fail in his quest to bring hectoring religiosity back to California. But as he’s now learned, just because Easter is in March doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate Palm Sunday alone.
This isn’t the first time this summer that someone has discharged their weapon at Megan Thee Stallion. Last month she was hospitalized with a gunshot to the foot, in an event that led to the arrest of Torey Lanez. Meanwhile Cardi B has been trying to quietly (or not so quietly) raise a family, but she ran afoul of the law when her neighbors called the cops on her two-year-old daughter’s birthday party.
Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion are what happens when children are raised without God and without a strong father figure. Their new "song" The #WAP (which i heard accidentally) made me want to pour holy water in my ears and I feel sorry for future girls if this is their role model!
— James P. Bradley (@BradleyCongress) August 7, 2020
