On Saturday, November 7th, Donald Trump announced a press conference at the Four Seasons Hotel in Philadelphia. Soon afterwards, his campaign offered the correction that, actually, Rudy Giuliani would be speaking to reporters from the parking lot of Four Seasons Total Landscaping, between a crematorium and Fantasy Island Adult Bookstore. Now, like a bard of old, Tim Heidecker has written a new ballad worthy of our current crop of leaders, and he’s titled it “Rudy at the 4 Seasons”.
Heidecker shared the tune last night on Twitter. Like any good dramatist, he begins by sketching out the scene. “Standing out in front of a pile of manure,” he sings, “Spitting out lies that belong in the sewer.” His Giuliani imagines himself at a posh ballroom, eating crudités instead of supplying crudity. But Heidecker is open to the idea that it was all intentional, asking Giuliani if, “With your hand down your pants maybe you don’t wanna do a hotel?” Even so, this particular parking lot seems like a curious choice. Heidecker offers the advice that, “Maybe next time/ You and your friends can find/ Someplace that isn’t next to a dildo store.” Check out “Rudy at the 4 Seasons” below.
Over the weekend, the New York Times reported that the Four Seasons mistake happened “not in the booking, but in a garbled game of telephone.” In other words, Trump stop listening after he heard the words “Four Seasons”, and a view of the dildo store was the plan all along. They may be idiots, but these idiots are going to get away with a coup if conservative judges don’t stop them. In the meantime, some combination of laughing and crying will help us sleep at night.
In September, Heidecker released his cheerfully-titled new album Fear of Death. His comedy career continues to take flight, most recently with his new sitcom Moonbase 8 co-starring John C. Reilly and Fred Armisen.
Full "Rudy At The 4 Seasons" Song pic.twitter.com/z6e3LL6Egg
— Lord Goo Goo (@timheidecker) November 10, 2020