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Notoriously Trustworthy “Papa” John Schnatter Says He’s Had 800 Pizzas in Last 18 Months

He didn't like most of them. "Some were burnt. Some were undercooked”

papa john 800 pizzas in 18 months
John Schnatter, image via WDRB
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    Disgraced pizza tycoon “Papa” John Schnatter has retreated to his gilded Louisville mansion, reminiscing on his glory days and screaming about how much pizza he’s eating to anyone who’ll listen. In a new interview with Bloomberg, he said he’d tasted over 800 pizzas in the last 18 months.

    Schnatter has made similarly voluminous claims before. In a notoriously sweaty 2019 interview, he boasted of consuming 40 pizzas in 30 days — although that turned out to be an exaggeration. More careful with his wording this time, he alleges that he’s merely nibbled from 800 pizzas, which in some ways is even more strange.

    Almost all of those greasy pies came from Papa John’s, from which he was fired in 2018 after using a racial slur in a conference call. In other words, he’s giving thousands of dollars to his ex, but know that it’s in the service of shit-talking. Schnatter is howling from the hilltops that Papa John’s has absolutely fallen apart in his absence. Of the hundreds of sampled pies, he said that, “Some were burnt. Some were undercooked.”

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    As to why Papa John’s is doing so well financially, he wants you to know that it has absolutely nothing to do with his replacement, current CEO Rob Lynch. “This guy is delusional,” he said. “He has no idea how we built this company and the fundamentals. But he thinks it’s him. He really thinks that he’s done something magical.” Instead, he believes that the company’s success can be chalked up to the pandemic delivery boom. “It kind of makes me laugh at Rob Lynch,” he added.

    It’s tempting to feel pity for this fallen tycoon pining so desperately for his former throne. But Schnatter finds solace in his Louisville mansion, with the gold-plated fireplace, the tunnel entrance designed to look like an ancient Italian street, and the staircase, which boasts a 16-foot sculptor of two eagles in the process of fucking. “It just speaks to me,” he said of the copulating birds. “I think it’s badass.”

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