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Let Tom Holland Host The Oscars, You Cowards

Here's why Hollywood's resident golden retriever would provide some much-needed energy at this year's show

tom holland oscars
Illustration by Ben Kaye
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    All right, everyone, we are mere days into 2022 and things are… sort of a mess. The Grammys have been postponed indefinitely. Julia Fox is going on dates with Kanye, for some reason. The Golden Globes tweeted out a win for West Side Story with the caption “laughter is the best medicine.” It’s simply chaos these days.

    The Oscars, meanwhile, have been a bit of a mess for some time. There was the one perfect year of Parasite, but we all remember Moonlight’s historic mixup and the #OscarsSoWhite conversation that really hasn’t improved since. The fact that Amy Adams doesn’t already have at least three Oscars is proof enough that this tentpole of the film industry is a bit broken.

    News broke on Tuesday (January 11th) that The Oscars would be returning to form by having a host for the 2022 show, and we have a proposal. Hear us out.

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    Sentient sunbeam Tom Holland, the kind of guy who seems like he’d apologize to someone who tripped and spilled their coffee all over him, had a great year. He led Spider-Man: No Way Home to historic box office results, pandemic era be damned. He was one third of one of the most exciting IP crossovers in history, and is also one half of the sweetest It couple in Hollywood right now. (He’s dating Zendaya, of course, and if you weren’t aware of that, it would be pretty remarkable for you to have made it this far into the article.)

    Holland embodies many qualities of a bygone era, the best aspects of Old Hollywood. He has an easy charm about him and is known to be impossible to dislike. He’s able to carry a franchise centered on an iconic and beloved character, but he also has extensive dance and movement training. He’s a renaissance man that just seems like a nice guy, and we think he should host the 2022 Oscars.

    On top of the fact that Holland as Oscars host would guarantee a killer song and dance opening (we also wouldn’t say no to a backflip or two, sue us), it could also be advantageous for The Academy — and for ABC. Oscars ratings plummeted in 2021, ultimately pulling in only 9.23 million viewers, a staggering 51% drop from the 18.69 million who tuned into the program in 2020.

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