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Elon Musk Offers to Fight Putin for Ukraine

"He can even bring his bear"

elon musk fight putin
Elon Musk (photo via Grimes) and Vladimir Putin (NBC)
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    Elon Musk stands with Ukraine, so, naturally, he’s showing his support by stroking his own ego (or something). The Space X CEO has been sending internet satellites to Ukraine to aid communications outages amid Russia’s invasion of the country, but now the billionaire wants to offer more hands-on support in the war… by fighting Vladimir Putin himself.

    “I hereby challenge Vladimir Putin to single combat. Stakes are Ukraine,” Musk tweeted Monday (March 14th), spelling out Putin’s name and Ukraine in Russian. Soon after, he tagged the official account of the president in another tweet, asking in Russian, “Do you agree to this fight?”

    While Putin has yet to sign on for the duel, Dmitry Rogozin, the chief of Russia’s space agency Roscosmos, did respond to Musk’s challenge. Rogozin tweeted a passage from Russian poet Alexander Pushkin’s “The Tale of the Pope and his Worker Balda,” essentially informing Musk that he’s way in over his head.

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    Translated from Russian, the passage reads: “You, little devil, are still young/ Compete with me weak/ It would only be a waste of time/ Overtake my brother first.”

    Musk fired back at Rogozin, tweeting, “I see you are a tough negotiator! Ok, you can have 10% more pay per view money,” along with a “Choose your fighter” meme of Putin riding a bear and Musk shooting a flamethrower.

    “He can even bring his bear,” Musk added, before quoting a Russian writer right back to Rogozin.

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    “We should form a book club,” Musk said, before quoting the novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky: “A fool with a heart and no mind is just as unfortunate a fool as a fool with a mind without a heart.”

    While insane, offering to fight a dictator in the midst of invading another country is exactly the type of thing we should expect from Musk, a billionaire nerd convinced by an internet army of teenage boys that he is a lot cooler and stronger than reality would show. Of course, it’s hard to laugh at his lunacy when you remember that manufacturing aerospace gear for international governments does, in fact, have concrete political consequences. Why won’t he just donate his money already?

    Musk’s public challenge to “single combat” came only hours after he tweeted a transphobic meme, which itself came only days after reports that his ex-partner, Grimes, is dating Chelsea Manning. Grimes also recently revealed that she and Musk secretly had a second child together via surrogate — the “Y” to baby boy “X.”

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